Hello Tooth Fairy!

The news is in and it's BIG! We have tooth! It's got to be a tooth unless my baby is half baby half T-Rex cuz that thing is sharp! Do T-Rexs' have sharp bottom teeth? I assume they do.
Good thing I no longer BF because I would probably not have nipples if I was.

It began one cranky runny nosed Thursday last week. Me getting over a cold and my husband getting over a stomach bug I figured Miss E had unfortunately got a cold from my snotty hands. I washed and washed, but you know it's hard to wash your hands 24/7 when lil' bebe starts a callin'.

She was one big crabby bebe beetch. Sorry E, but you were. I mean it was an awful day for us both. I felt like crap and so did you so we weren't very good company. But I held you all day and you slept for the most part and were so sweet snuggled up to Momma. The following days got better and I never thought to look in your mouth. You didn't have a fever just cranky and a slight runny nose and dirty diaper. I should have known.

Fast Forward to Valentine's weekend and I was getting her ready for bed at Grammy's and G Orr's. She was talking to me. She said, "Momma, I had a lovely day and I'm ready for bed but this shard of glass in my gums hurts." So I felt around on the top of her bebe gums. There was the shard of glass (ok, it was the tip of a tooth). I told her I could not take it out but it would be better soon and then someday the tooth fairy will bring her money for her bebe teeth when she gets her big teeth like Momma. That freaked her out. She said, "Someone called a fairy comes and takes my teeth and gives me money for it? Do we live in a third world country?" I said, "No, we live in Texas and here in Texas your little bebe teeth fall out and you grow big adult teeth so that you can gnaw on jerky, chew tobacky and whistle for your lil' doggies. And the fairy brings you monies for these lil' bebe teeth so you can buy the jerky and tobacky."

My little girl is growing up.

All I can hope for is that she doesn't read this blog and think I condone the use of tobacky because I hate it when I see little girls spittin' tobacky juice.

Ticka Ticka Ticka....

That is the sound I make when I tickle bebe E. Ticka Ticka Ticka, she laughs so I Ticka some more. She has most definitely found her voice. She lies in her bed most mornings at 6:30am and gets her grudge on. Meaning, she sounds like the dead Japanese lady who makes that scary noise on The Grudge. Who thought up that and who thought that would scare me? The sound never scared me, it was that weird slinking down the stairs creepily with a dead face thing she did. And who thought a pale face Japanese boy would be scary looking at you from the stairs? Also, who told Sarah Michelle Gellar she could act?

I'm off track as usual, sorry. But she loves to talk now. I say to her all day, "Momma...Dadda...Momma...Dadda...Momma...Momma...Momma" ...see where I'm going with this?

I think her first words will be "Previously on 24".

Jack Bauer can rescue me any day.

Ahhh...and it tastes so good.

Momma, thanks for Sophie. She's the bees knees.

I miss bubble lips.

That is what Wilson lovingly refers to our baby girl as, bubble lips. She likes to make spit bubbles and drool from head to toe. She's a train of drool. "Hop on the Spit Train. Next stop, Toe Town." See, it drops from her mouth to her toes.

Anyway, I miss that little drool face right now as I sit at my desk daydreaming about taking a little nap with her and just watching her grow. Sometimes I feel like she is growing up too fast and I'm missing out on something, even though I see her everyday and just work 2 days a week. Today I had to greet the nanny since Wilson was out of town (he leaves for work later than I do). It was hard. Real hard. I didn't think it would be. I think it was because usually I head out before Elizabeth wakes up or sees me and this time she watched me walk out the front door. Waving goodbye and telling her I love her and blowing her kisses. I felt horrible as I got in the car. But she didn't blink an eye, she smiled and watched me and was so happy. Which I am so thankful for. She is good with other people, she is not a clingy baby, but she is still 4 months so she hasn't hit that stage yet.

But something inside me wanted her to be sad. To need me. Not that I want my baby crying and screaming and kicking the floor for Momma, just a little reach out, a little "maaaaa...wwaaaaa". Nothing. I will always want her to need me, and I will always be there for her.

I want to go home and see her smile.

I'm waiting for you Momma!!

I hate frogs...

Literally ... to tired ... to write. But I will!

I work 2 days a week. 2 days!!! that's nothing. It's a cakewalk compared to all those other jerks out in the workforce.

I think what's making it hard is I have to get up before 6am (if I can hear my alarm and make myself shlump out of bed) on my 2 days of work, plus get up the rest of the week early, sometimes the same time or earlier to either feed, rock, sing, bounce, whatever the girl wants at that ungodly hour of the night. I'm not complaining, I asked for it when I took that ovulation test and it gave us the green light. 3 weeks later I was with child and my sleepy fate was sealed.

What? It's 4am. You don't want to talk right now? Look at me, I'm bursting with gossip!

I've never been so tired in all my life. It's a tired like no other I have ever felt, sucking the awesome out of me. I dream of sleeping even when I'm asleep. Take last night, I slept horrible, waking up in a sweat, but not wanting to get out of bed or move the covers for fear she would know I was up and want to talk about it. I wake up in the middle of the night even when she doesn't, that's how light of a sleeper I am now. I lie awake in bed even while my husband feeds the baby or quiets her on those nights of the days I work...I think because I'm a mom and I can't relax enough to let someone else take care of her. It's her father dammit! Geez! Eh, it's normal I guess and annoying. My back is paying for it too, stressed and in constant knots.

I feel guilty sometimes for wanting to take a vacation. A sleep vacation. I don't dream of going out at night, taking in a movie or dinner (even though a dinner that doesn't involve holding a baby or watching someone else hold the baby would be nice). I dream of cold pretty beds with fluffy comforters, sleep till noon, breakfast in bed and naps....not in my house. It's too messy and full of dust and dog hair to relax.

I thought once I was able to stay home I could get something done around there for a change. Have some "me" time...I knew I would be tired, but I would be productive. But like so so so many people told me...babies are a 24/7 job and there is no "me" time, there is no sleeping, or cleaning time and you won't be home cooking glorious meals every night.
What happens is you try to do a load of laundry but the baby doesn't have that plan in store for you, she wants you to look at her, hold her, feed her...and she might let you walk away for 5 minutes, but the minute Momma gets right in the middle of a task she really can't leave to finish later...baby wants your attention again. She's a hot mess. A blazing mess of baby cuteness I can't help but run to when she calls out "maaaaaaa...waaaaaaa". Or when she's had enough of that damn spinnin' frog on her walker.

I should just blame the frog.