There is No Better Friend Than a Sister...

It's been a long while since I have posted on my blog.  Not much has changed, but our family has grown.  From 3 to 4, and those 2 silly dogs are still around.

We had little Madeline Grace on June 1, 2012. 

Madeline at one month

She is an angel from heaven.  Sweet as can be.  Loves her big sister Elizabeth and I can tell already she is going to be a mover and a shaker.  Watching her Big Sis dance and sing, she laughs and is in awe of her.  I hope they continue to love each other and learn from each other, lean on each other and help one another.  Instill in each other good values and morals that they learn from us. 

Elizabeth and her lil sis in background

When we brought Madeline home the dynamic changed.  I was certainly more tired, but I wasn't tired from the baby.  The 3 year old is wearing me out.  I struggled with getting her to mind and help me at the same time.  But now she is a good helper.  I have to tell myself all day long, "she's just 3 Mom...she's just 3 Mom"
because she is a little troublemaker like all 3 year olds are.  But she is a the sweetest 3 year old I know.

We have had our moments.  I have yelled at her, I have cried for yelling at her, I have put her in time out and I have cried for putting her in time out.  You can ready yourself for a baby physically.  We had all the right things for Madeline, didn't even have to buy clothes.  As long as we had diapers, wipes and baby soap, I was good.  But you can't ready your brain to handle the older child along with your baby.  It's rough, but all evens out eventually. 

And Then they do this and it melts your heart

People keep asking me if I will have another baby.  I keep saying "I'm pretty sure this is it..."  But when I say that and think about it I feel so sad.  I want to soak up every moment with Madeline, look at her all day long, hold and rock her to sleep forever.  I don't want her to grow up. 
I said the same things about Elizabeth, but I also knew at the time we would want another so I knew I would get those baby moments back again.  But now it feels so definite.  These are my last moments as the mother of a newborn, mother of an infant, mother of a baby, mother of a toddler...I love all those moments.  I feel myself as a Mom, I feel confident when I hold my baby and care for her.  I cherish each phase of babyhood.  This is the job I know, this is the job I am good at, this is what makes me happy. 

I have several, make that 5 girlfriends, all having new babies come the end of fall.  I am so super jealous I could scream.  I see their baby registries and remember all the fun I had picking out what I wanted.  I remember choosing the bedding, fixing her room, crying as I looked at the empty crib knowing soon my sweet girl would be sleeping there and I couldn't wait to hold her and how much I loved her even though I had never met her.  Wish we could go back and feel those moments again.  I will never forget it.  Some of the best moments in my life.  It ranks right at the top along with kissing my hubby for the first time and dancing our first dance.  What a nervous rush of emotions and love it all was. 

Someday I will share those feelings with my girls.  I hope they get to feel those same emotions some day too.  It is what makes being a woman so special.

That said, yes, I think Madeline is the last little Orr.  She is our special angel, snuggly baby, perfect girl.